


Tonight You Are a Million Pieces

by K1mHeechu1



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Cuddles, Fluff, Friendship, Hospitalization, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kisses, Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X)-centric, M/M, Monsta X fucks up but then makes it up to Minhyuk, Neglect, Protective Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Sad Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but at the same time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1
Summary: He would stop being a burden. He would stop making the members uncomfortable.He would do whatever it took for his members to be happy again—  or as happy as they could be when there was a bleeding Wonho-shaped hole that couldn’t be filled or closed.Or: Minhyuk needs touch to thrive, but he loves friends so much he'll neglect himself if it makes things betters. Spoiler, it doesn't.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Lee Minhyuk
Comments: 13
Kudos: 40
Collections: Kpop Writers - Secret Santa 2020





	Tonight You Are a Million Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [distorted_knot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/distorted_knot/gifts).



> HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MY FRIEND!!
> 
> I hope you like this present I wrote with all my panic and that changed plots1500 times in 2 weeks. It's my first time writing Monsta X AND my first time writing any kpop story that's not a full-fledged au, so I hope you like it!! 
> 
> There's still 2/3 chapters to go, but I'll try to wrap it up before the year ends.
> 
> Thank you so much to the friend that helped me by betaing this thing, you're awesome <3
> 
> Happy reading!!

_ “Stop being clingy, Minhyuk. I don’t want you up in my face all the time, I want to be alone. Everyone’s tired of how clingy you are, you need to stop and grow up, you’re fucking 26 years old, stop behaving like a baby craving attention and leave me alone.” _

The words wouldn’t stop playing inside his head. Over and over he heard them and felt worse with each passing hour.

Tensions were high amongst the group ever since 7 had become 6. Hyunwoo and Hyungwon spent most of their time in the practice, Changkyun and Jooheon holed themselves up in the studio, and Kihyun tried to spend all the time he wasn’t stress-cleaning in vocal training.

Minhyuk had tried to join the dancing pair but quickly gave up after they started snapping at him when he messed up small sections of choreography. He decided to try and sit in the studio with the rappers, but the things they were composing and recording were so dark and depressing he only lasted about half an hour before he left them. He was sad enough that listening to the lyrics the younger members were brainstorming made him feel like crying.

So he had joined Kihyun in his cleaning sprees, allowing himself to be bossed around: dusting what he was told to dust, folding what he was told to fold, polishing what he was told to polish. He didn’t even mind it when Kihyun made him polish their kitchen counters 4 times in a row — Minhyuk could see why his friend did it when he was stressed. The repetitive motions calmed his anxiety and helped him empty his mind until all he could think of was ‘up, down, up down, sprinkle more baking soda, up, down, up…’.

Naturally, as soon as they were done cleaning the entire dorm, he had tried to follow Kihyun to the practice room. Kihyun had snapped at him, leaving him standing in the middle of the entrance hall with one shoe on and the other one in his hand as the door closed behind Kihyun’s back.

Things turned fuzzy after that. He could barely remember what had happened. He could force himself to remember taking off his shoe but then— nothing. 

The next time he opened his eyes, he was sitting under the showerhead on the bathroom tiles, freezing water hitting his still clothed back. Minhyuk gasped as he scrambled to turn the shower off, a strong shiver making him wince as he realised just how cold he was. 

He shook his head, peeling his clothes off, leaving them in the sink for the moment and drying himself as best as he could before wrapping the towel around his body. He rushed to his room, quickly getting dressed before going back to the bathroom to pick up his wet clothes and throw them in the wash, starting the machine so that no one would see the pile of wet fabric, just in case anyone decided to ask him what had happened— what could he answer, anyway? Even he had no idea what he had done between Kihyun slamming the door on him and suddenly coming back to himself in the bathroom.

Minhyuk made sure to turn all the lights off in the dorm, grabbing a couple of water bottles from the kitchen as he went, before running into his room and locking the door behind him. He dumped the bottles on his desk before throwing himself on the bed. He grabbed and squeezed tight the soft, oversized white bunny plushie he had been snuggling with to sleep every night since he started rooming alone after Wonho had moved out and they had reshuffled. Changkyun and Jooheon wanted to room together, so Minhyuk had grabbed his things and moved into the newly vacated single room, the scent of Wonho’s perfume still lingering in the pale blue curtains.

Sleeping alone was not his favourite thing, and sleeping alone in the room one of his best friends used to be in was even worse. In the beginning, there had been mornings where Minhyuk had been tricked by the scent, thinking for a minute he must’ve fallen asleep in Wonho’s room again while staying up late talking about nothing; only to suddenly remember this was his room now, and Wonho was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

Minhyuk sniffed as the tears started falling once again. He buried his face in the soft bunny plush, biting his lip to stay quiet even though he knew he was home alone.

Minhyuk was aware he was annoying. He craved touch and clung to people as much as he could. Physical contact was his way of understanding and communicating with the world. Cuddles, hugs, head pets, even the soft trail of a hand up an arm or entwined fingers meant everything to him. His team had been extremely understanding of his need for touch from the beginning. There had always been someone there to give him a squeeze or cuddle him to sleep or run his fingers through their hair as they listened to their manager go on and on about their schedule.

But the implicit understanding had vanished the second Wonho had left the dorm, trailing after the manager, a bag full of his things on his back and Changkyun hanging off of him begging him not to go. Suddenly, the dorm had become almost hostile and the usual cliques had solidified to a level that was almost impenetrable to outsiders. 

And Minhyuk was an outsider— not a rapper, not a producer, not a dancer, not a particularly good vocalist either. Suddenly he found himself completely alone, trying to stop himself from seeking out touch, knowing his fellow members were sad, stressed and grieving and his clinging would only make them more upset.

Minhyuk had thought that maybe he had been doing ok. Evidently he had been wrong, because Kihyun had confirmed what he had always suspected: Minhyuk’s neediness was not something the members understood, it was something they merely tolerated, and it had gotten to the point where they had grown tired of him, of his constant need for touch and reassurance. 

Minhyuk understood. And with his face nuzzling his bunny and tears soaking the bunny’s soft fur, he promised to do better from then on.

He would stop being a burden. He would stop making the members uncomfortable.

It was the least he could do. If it helped his friends, he would quash every bit of neediness in his body and become a member worth being around.

He would do whatever it took for his members to be happy again— or as happy as they could be when there was a bleeding Wonho-shaped hole that couldn’t be filled or closed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Plz don't kill me, I promise your bias isn't an asshole lol
> 
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/K1mHeechu1) (plz, I need more Twitter friends! It'd be nice to have more people to talk to!), [Instagram](https://instagram.com/k1mheechu1/) and [CC](https://curiouscat.qa/K1mHeechu1)


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